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This Is Pregnant (Day 107)

I have been busy creating life for 107 days now. Okay, so far it hasn't been that difficult but it sounds badass. Seeing as everyone and their dog are pretty much designed to create life, I take no credit. But I do want to document the entire process for my future self, my future kid, and for anyone else who is curious about how their pregnancy compares to someone else's.

It's day 107 and I'm well into the second trimester. A little late to begin documenting the miracle of life but whatever. At this point I feel so, so fat. We got back from a week in Delaware visiting family and then drove for four days across the country in a mad dash because we are closing on a house this Friday. I thought I could somehow achieve a belly-only pregnancy by continuing to run and eat healthy but well, that dream went down the toilet. Delaware in July is hot as fuck and I didn't feel like cooking the fetus so I basically did no physical exercise the entire time. On top of feeling disgusting, I am terrified ALL THE TIME that my kid is going to be autistic or have some insane deformity or that my body will flat our reject this little tiny human. Last night the swamp cooler stopped being productive so it was hot as fuck in our little house and I slept like crap which I'm pretty sure is going to have some dire effect on my kid's development. Also I had weird sensations in my uterus all night and thought: yep, body is definitely getting ready to trash this fetus. Plus I kept waking up on my back which right now isn't that big a deal since this kid is only as big as a tomato so can't wreak havoc on my circulation but still, I'm trying to break the habit so kept turning over onto my side but then my hip started aching so I shoved a pillow between my knees and well I guess it will only get worse so I'll shut up.

I now realize that all the things the Internet says will happen to you during pregnancy may in fact happen. Like for instance, this morning I found my first skin tag on my inner thigh. All I can muster is: why? And last week I noticed little brown spots on my upper cheekbones, and the weeks before that my bowels decided to give up. Oh and  just when I considered myself lucky to escape morning sickness, I started dry heaving in the passenger seat during my 15th week of cultivating life. Bleh.

So, today is Cyrus and my 4th wedding anniversary and we are getting Korean food. I'm actively not looking up what I can and cannot eat because I want it all and I refuse to worry about anything else at the moment. Also, my boobs are going to look awesome in my new flowy dress but otherwise I'm going to look and feel just like the lumpy potato that I am.


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