Where's Mommy?

Day 160/145. Both are correct. 145 is more accurate but according to the doctor I am 160. So, 22 weeks and 6 days. Nearly 5 months. Time is flying. Feeling more excited now and less scared. Listening to Hypnobirthing and reading Mindful Birthing has helped a lot. Reading positive birth stories is also helping. Watching many episodes of "Call the Midwife". Cried last night because I could feel Rambo moving and I had this incredible urge to hold and snuggle my chubby little baby boy. Although it is somewhat unsettling to picture a little boy running around the house and thinking about how exhausting it will be, I can't help but feel excited. He will be half me, half Cyrus and 100% ours. Feeling less afraid of the actual birth. Believe in myself and know I can do it. Want to do it without pain medication. Did some research on the hospital recommended by our doctor. Looks like they are pro- natural birth. A lot of positive reviews. Feeling better about the hospital options....

4 months. I think. It's hard to say. Q: How long are women actually pregnant? A: 280 days from last period to delivery. Doctor says I'm 19 weeks but I know exactly when it all went down so I know that the baby has actually been cooking for precisely 17 weeks. Whatever. All moved into the new house. It no longer looks like we live in a flea market. Working full days on top of it. Trying to exercise but it's 105 F every day. Still, ran 4 miles on Sunday morning, hiked 6 miles on Monday and 5.5 today. Tired but feeling good. No more nausea. Many thoughts. Not always loving pregnancy and feeling sorry for myself but know this is ridiculous and I am privileged and should not complain. But I'm going to anyway. Pregnancy feels lonely. Even though there is a little person inside me, accompanying me at all times. Even though so many women have gone through it and share their stories via blog posts and Podcasts, it still feels lonely because those women are not me. They're no...