Where's Mommy?

Officially look pregnant. Woman gave me her cart at the grocery store and the guy at Buffalo Exchange asked when I was due. How sweet :) Learned that the popcorn and entire Swiss milk chocolate and hazelnut chocolate bar combination should never be attempted again. Running 3 miles at the gym helped a lot. Still running 3 miles 4-5 days a week. Lungs feel slightly smaller. Also have mystery cough... Obsessed with filling my head with positive birth stories and watching positive birth videos. Finished my hypnobirthing book, still reading Ina May Gaskin and Mindful Birthing. Thinking about a homebirth and hiring a midwife and doula. Eating lots of fruit and veggies. Discovered peanut butter dream whip. Oh my. Must head to work now, then Utah.

Day 160/145. Both are correct. 145 is more accurate but according to the doctor I am 160. So, 22 weeks and 6 days. Nearly 5 months. Time is flying. Feeling more excited now and less scared. Listening to Hypnobirthing and reading Mindful Birthing has helped a lot. Reading positive birth stories is also helping. Watching many episodes of "Call the Midwife". Cried last night because I could feel Rambo moving and I had this incredible urge to hold and snuggle my chubby little baby boy. Although it is somewhat unsettling to picture a little boy running around the house and thinking about how exhausting it will be, I can't help but feel excited. He will be half me, half Cyrus and 100% ours. Feeling less afraid of the actual birth. Believe in myself and know I can do it. Want to do it without pain medication. Did some research on the hospital recommended by our doctor. Looks like they are pro- natural birth. A lot of positive reviews. Feeling better about the hospital options....

4 months. I think. It's hard to say. Q: How long are women actually pregnant? A: 280 days from last period to delivery. Doctor says I'm 19 weeks but I know exactly when it all went down so I know that the baby has actually been cooking for precisely 17 weeks. Whatever. All moved into the new house. It no longer looks like we live in a flea market. Working full days on top of it. Trying to exercise but it's 105 F every day. Still, ran 4 miles on Sunday morning, hiked 6 miles on Monday and 5.5 today. Tired but feeling good. No more nausea. Many thoughts. Not always loving pregnancy and feeling sorry for myself but know this is ridiculous and I am privileged and should not complain. But I'm going to anyway. Pregnancy feels lonely. Even though there is a little person inside me, accompanying me at all times. Even though so many women have gone through it and share their stories via blog posts and Podcasts, it still feels lonely because those women are not me. They're no...

Day 109. The 4-month mark is fast approaching. Korean food was not popular with the fetus whom Cyrus and I lovingly refer to as "Rambo" because it's a boy and we have no idea what else to call him because coming up with boy names is flat out really, really hard. Oh the bloating. Oh dear. It's real. Very, very real. The struggle between giving-in to the deep, gnawing hunger without adding more hot air to my ever-expanding body is nearly impossible. Major diet changes to come. Let's see if I can't fix this somehow with a better diet. So far I've been pretty good but could definitely let up on the salt. Unfortunately that is what Rambo craves. He doesn't want sugar (strangely). He wants the tortilla chips and salsa and guac. He wants all. the. cheese. Again, will try to figure this out. Picked up yoga again today after not doing it for a year because the last two days of running have completely trashed my body after not doing it for 10 days. Lactic acid...

I have been busy creating life for 107 days now. Okay, so far it hasn't been that difficult but it sounds badass. Seeing as everyone and their dog are pretty much designed to create life, I take no credit. But I do want to document the entire process for my future self, my future kid, and for anyone else who is curious about how their pregnancy compares to someone else's. It's day 107 and I'm well into the second trimester. A little late to begin documenting the miracle of life but whatever. At this point I feel so, so fat. We got back from a week in Delaware visiting family and then drove for four days across the country in a mad dash because we are closing on a house this Friday. I thought I could somehow achieve a belly-only pregnancy by continuing to run and eat healthy but well, that dream went down the toilet. Delaware in July is hot as fuck and I didn't feel like cooking the fetus so I basically did no physical exercise the entire time. On top of feeling di...